amidthehoopla

Maggie Annie

on May 13, 2014

Maggie Annie

Yesterday we said goodbye to our 14 year old girl, Maggie. My mom was fostering her and her siblings the year I went away to college. After not being adopted, my mom decided that she wanted to keep her to join our family of already 3 other dogs and many cats. Maggie aka “Pie Pie” had such a sweet disposition. I use to question why she was the one that wasn’t adopted out of the group of pups she was with but now I know why. She was meant to be ours and we were meant to be hers. We have had many family members (pets) through out the years and it is ALWAYS hard to say goodbye to them but I will admit that this passing was much easier. Maybe because my faith has become stronger over the last few years and I completely trust that she is happy and awaiting my arrival one day. We actually had to schedule a vet appointment to put Maggie to sleep. Which is common in older pets because we cannot stand to see them suffer and they usually cannot function quite as well at an older age. I do believe that Maggie’s long life was partly because my mom had switched to a cleaner food for her animals. Many animals are getting cancer and it is linked to the chemicals and fillers that are used in pet food. Also, Maggie was loved so much by everyone. She never barked but use to poke with her nose. She would poke you right in the face if you weren’t paying attention. She also had her choice of a variety of squeaky toys, bones, ropes and stuffed animals but she had her favorites. For years Maggie carried around a big yellow duck (which was replaced several times. Ssshh don’t tell) and a little stuffed soccer ball. God Bless her sweet little soul. We actually had an extra week with her because after making the decision to put her down, we didn’t feel quite right about it and good thing because she had the best last week of her life. She was given extra massages, spoon fed, walks in the yard with her sisters and time to chase the kitties. My mom emailed me a few days ago and told me that she felt like she was being selfish because Maggie had some bad mornings. So, we spent the weekend with her helping her to be comfortable in as many ways as possible. I laid out in the grass with her and massaged her and she got to have an organic chicken hot dog at the Mother’s Day cookout. I could tell she wasn’t quite there and that she was tired. Not tired like she needed to rest but tired of this life. She had lived a full loving life with us.
The hardest part about letting a pet go is to completely let them go. I had so many feelings and was able to grief beforehand when we initially thought we might have her put down. I know the time was right because she could barely stand and fell several times and in the most recent weeks, she did not want to eat. I can understand that making the decision is hard because you do wonder if it is the right time or pray that God would please take them peacefully in their sleep. With Maggie, we knew and maybe it was from previous experience when we waited too long with our other pets. It is also a feeling of guilt because I am happy for Maggie. I am happy she is at peace but I feel guilt about that because I wonder if that makes it seem like I didn’t love her enough. I know that isn’t true but it makes you feel like ” if I can be happy and laughing, would Maggie think I didn’t love her or grief over her?”. Death is so weird and beautiful. I cry mostly because it was such a beautiful experience to have her in my life and to be the one that worked for weeks knitting her a burial blanket, digging the hole the front garden and praying over her lifeless body. It is so hard but it is so damn beautiful. Most of my tears are coming from worry that I will forget the little things about her and just the heartache from missing her until I can see her again. It doesn’t seem real that this beautiful creature that was in our lives for 14 short years will not greet me when I pull into the driveway or walk with me to see the cats in the barn. I woke up from a nap earlier, I think that I am just tired from the emotional stress from the weekend, and I sat there for a few minutes wondering if it was all real. Is she really gone? No, it can’t be! I will never see my sweet Maggie Annie in this life again. I do believe she is with me and around me and I will see her again but until then I will forever miss my girl. I am so grateful to God for helping her have a peaceful passing and for putting her into our lives. Maggie taught me how to love deeper, to be patient, to slow down and enjoy the little things and to learn to let go. I am also grateful that many other people are understanding and loving. Just today, a local business in Kokomo posted their loss of their cat named Maggie and a lady at my moms work sent her flowers after catching her crying at her desk. It means so much to me that people do care and that others that have been through this very same loss can connect. I pray that each and every one of you have the same experience we had with Maggie. Do you have a pet that you would like to tell me about? How is/was your experience with having them in your life and what did you learn from them?

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